What does Bulimia feel like for you right in this very moment?
Bulimia is powerful and painful. She has taken over for a moment. She seem invincible and ignorant of my emotions. She is evil and destructive. I hate her, but she has become a part of me, so that I even hate myself. She scares me sometimes more than life.
Two incentives that WILL help you overcome this:
1. Finding inner peace with myself
2. Being able to live and help others
Please, all the Bulimics (and other ED-victims) add a comment saying what comes to your mind when you think about your ED! Then add two incentives that WILL help you!!! We all have something that drives us. Look inside you. I want people to engage in this so that we can show each other how we feel and learn from one another at the same time, while broadening awareness on the severity of EDs.
Thanks!!
Right now bulimia has made turned me into two people. The second me is sneaky, dishonest, greedy, empty girl. Bulimia has pushed me away from my family and my home. It makes me worry over insignificant things and distract me from loving my family and boyfriend. But I told my mom today for the first time about it all. She is really supportive and not pushy…so I’m optimistic that today is a major turning point.
1. People will want to be around me.
2. I will have more time and energy to devote to my passions and interests.
(This is phoenix, by the way.)
Bulimia is part of every thought I have through out the day. I catch myself wrapping an arm around my waist to test how small my waist is and planning each day around eating and getting sick.
Today is the first day in three months that I am trying to stop. I am not sure what to think yet or who I will be once I do stop. But I know that I am tired of being sick and not living life. Because that is what bulimia is to me, another life. One that sucks the joy out of every meal and every interaction with others. I have to constantly lie and manipulate everyone into thinking I am okay when I know what I doing behind their backs. It has taken true friendships and love away from me and I want it back.
So today I am going to try something new.
Thanks for your comment!!!
stay strong!!
You can beat it!!! It just takes time and a lot of consciousness and work!!!
<3
right now my ED is like a dull,pounding drumbeat in my head. it is always there pulling and tugging at me. ripping my apart from my REAL life. holding me down. and feeding me lies. right now i feel it is stronger than me. i feel out of control and ashamed.
1. seeing real progress in my life
2. sharing the real me with the world again
Some days I am bulimic and some days i’m fine. I wish I could stop binge eating so I can stop the purge. I’m tired of living this way and don’t know who to talk to bc i’m scared.
Bulimia is a sneaky shadow that is cast when the light of my recovery begins to fade. When my inner glow dims, the shadow grows stronger until I am consumed in total darkness. There, alone, I act out my addiction; I binge, and purge, and after the numbness is gone I feel the torrent of guilt and embarrassment. For awhile my mind is clear again, relieved….until a wind comes along and challenges the little light of my recovery.
I long to stop hiding. Stop hiding from other and hiding from myself.
It takes me away
and out
it is something that comforts me from the harshness of my REAl life
then it beats me up.
It makes me helpless and then i cry.
Bulimia is my comfort. When I am stressed it is there. When I have a fight with my mom it is there. When I get a bad grade or something bad happens that day it is there. I can escape into my bulimia world and no one can touch me.
Bulimia is also holding me back. It has caused me to keep secrets and lie for years, it has caused me to cancel hang outs with friends, it has resulted ruined holidays, many tears, wasted money, emptiness, pain, sadness, sore throats, sore muscles, calloused knuckles, and hurts the people I love most.
What I hate most is how it takes control of my brain and torments me with my thoughts. I want my mind and body back!
That is why I am going to beat bulimia.
Bulimia is the secret that brims at the surface but just when I think that today is going to be the day I am going to be okay, it lurks and pulls me back in. It is what remains of my past and is the one thing that I cannot get rid of. It is a silent struggle, one that is mine alone. Perhaps tomorrow.
1. Laughing again.
2. Being able to rock climb again.