I want to lose weight. Yes. So I count calories again.
I want to be toned. Yes. So I exercise at least an hour a day.
I want to be beautiful. Yes. So I try and try.
I want to be skinny. No. I just want to like myself.
I want to binge. No. But I do.
I want to purge. No. But I have to.
I feel so guilty for not being under control over myself. I want to be in control so bad that I just keep failing, regretting, feeling guilty. And again, today, because I am overwhelmed and disappointed in others and not in love with my life or myself… I had to starve, overexercise, put stress on myself and of course end everything in a self-harming binge and purge session.
Day is over. Thanks. Hope is up for tomorrow!
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